Poll: Origin Story

[DragonByte Technologies]

So we're unsure which direction to go with the origin story. Please base your judgement on the content and not the writing style, as one of the stories was written by someone of considerably less talent than the other =P The story will be written by the same person, regardless of which origin is chosen =)

Jonaleth the Apprentice looked at the... thing in front of him. It didn't keep to one shape for long, and the shapes it did take were odd, to say the least. He was sure he saw a bear with a babies head in there somewhere.

“What... what is it?” asked the confused acolyte

“Jonaleth, what you are looking at is the future. This will be the resolution of all of the problems of the common man. Imagine, if you will, a world where cows are as large as elephants! Where horses have the strength of bulls, and the speed of the cat. Imagine a world where no man goes hungry, and no work goes unfinished.” Explained Raziel, a slightly crazed smile on his lips.

“I'm not... I mean... This is just one thing though?” stammered the nervous youngster

“Jonaleth, do you understand how the gods created the world? The animals? Do you understand why a lion and a horse cannot mate? Every animals was created with a set of instructions placed there by Odus himself, and these instructions describe everything about the animal, mineral, plant... everything on Xi. Even you and me, if you know how to read it.”

“And... you know how to read the thoughts of the Gods!?”

“Oh heavens no, it would take a billion lifetimes, but I have come close. The being you see in front of you, the Molior, contains the entirity of the language of the gods. Every instruction, for everything ever created, exists within that abomination. It can become any combination of anything which has ever existed on Xi”

“You mean like the pegasi created by Ellian the Elder?”

“Ellian is a hack! A novice! He managed to modify a line here, fix a line there, but his creations lose the ability to procreate, the instructions of the two beasts did not allow for it. But the Molior... The Molior can infuse anything with new instructions. It can procreate, it can create a race of cows so large no man will ever go hungry! A race of giantic, docile sheep with enough wool to clothe entire households! And best of all, they retain the moliors ability to procreate. Imagine it, fields full of these wonderous creatures, and every farmer in the land free to breed more. No more inequality, no more hunger or want. The molior will change the world as we know it.”

Jonaleth stood, awed and impressed. A nagging thought tugged at the back of his mind 'If a giant sheep could be created, couldn't there also be giant wolves and bears?' He dismissed the thought. He was a lowly acolyte and his master was Raziel the Magnificent, certainly he had thought of this. No, decided Jonaleth, no more stupid questions for today...

It occurred to the Sorcerer that he may have made a mistake. Scratch that. He had most certainly made a mistake. And for that he and possibly the rest of the world would pay the price.

It had started - as these things usually do - with the simplest of ideas; create a series of creatures whose sole purpose was to act as guardians for the rich and powerful. But even simple ideas turn out to be more complex than originally thought.

His first experiments failed miserably, with half-formed creatures crying piteously before expiring or even melting back into the components from which they were made. While he was able to briefly capture the life essences necessary, he was never able to animate the creations for more than a minute or two.

This time, he mused, it was going to be different. He’d gone over his calculations again and again, finding minor errors which had to have been the reason for his many failures. With held breath he finished the construct and whispered the final incantation.

The tiny creature stirred briefly, wings expanding out impossibly far as if it were stretching after a long sleep. But the creature failed to relax, it’s limbs vibrating violently as its bones began to stress and break. Frustrated, the sorcerer grabbed the creature, intending to dash it against the stone wall.

Something bit into his palm.

He looked down at the tiny thing in his hand; the figure was smeared with the sorcerer’s blood where the clawed wingtip had punctured him. The creature was looking back.

The sorcerer discovered early that the creatures did not feed off the blood of the living. He’d sacrificed multiple creatures - rabbits, sheep, the occasional goat - but nothing worked like his blood had that first successful day. Yet the Ven named after venator lacarta - hunter lizard - remained alone; no other creatures had survived regardless of how much of his blood he bathed them.

The tolling of the chapel bells in the small village below brought him from his reverie and gave him an idea. What if, he thought, it was not the blood, but the essence?

Excitedly, he called in his apprentice Jonaleth, pricking the boy’s finger over his latest attempt.The effect was both startling and instant, the creature struggled to its feet and cried a plaintive call. Success!

Once he had discovered that the tiny creatures were created not by blood but by the infusion of life essence the experiments were nearly all productive. Tiny creatures flew, crawled and skittered everywhere. Creatures made of rock, creatures with bodies that resembled humans with heads like pigs ran along side of snakelike creatures. But something was wrong.

The creatures. They were breeding. Stone monstrosities were mating with lizards and their offspring were mating with doglike creatures and their offspring were mating yet again with the humanoid beings.

They were breeding, and the littler creatures were being dominated by the newer, larger offspring. And the newer creatures? They were not bonded; they would bite and hiss when the Sorcerer tried to pick them up.

The bonded creatures were all gone now, replaced with ever bigger and more aggressive monsters. The Sorcerer had long ago locked himself in his chambers, ignoring the sounds of splintering wood and the short but terrified screams of Jonaleth as he attempted to escape. Now the scraping was outside his own door and he feared it wouldn’t hold long.

The Sorcerer had most certainly made a mistake. And for that he and possibly the rest of the world would pay the price.

So there we have it. Please place your vote for which origin story you prefer the sound of ^^

Cosmic

 

[Doctor]

Origin Story 2 sounds quite good to me looking forward to this sounds like its of to be a remake of scotts old RPG

 

[Neo_Angelo]

Origin story 2 reminds me of resident evil somehow. i think origin one does it for me.

 

[sessionone]

has one been decided yet? I have a lot of fanfic writers and role players on my forum that i could reach out to produce something spectacular

 

[craZy]

Number 2. The first just moves right into the dialogue with us not exactly knowning what's going on and such. The second one provides a better description of the situation.

 

[Edrondol]

The one that was chosen was #1, with a re-write. I wrote #2 and Cosmic wrote #1. The people spoke and #1 was chosen for the idea. I did the rewrite and it's in Cosmic's hands right now.


He gloats that his was the better idea. He's a big gloating....gloater.

 

[Cosmic]

*gloats*

=P

Edrondol is the better writer, and has more time, so it'll be in his capable hands. The stories were posted up on his site also, and the first story (idea by myself) was chosen, so we're running with that. Edrondol has been nice enough to be flexibile with that kinda thing, and i'm very grateful - A lot of writers are very particular about only wriing their own "vision".

I've been blessed with artists, writers and coders who are willing to be flexible and go along with my vision instead, so thanks guys ^^

 

[Edrondol]

Okay, after talking with Cosmic here's the chosen story. Idea by Cosmic and written by yours truly. Let us know what you think.





Jonaleth was bored. As an apprentice to Raziel the Magnificent, he was required to copy these ancient texts although he hardly ever understood what they were talking about.

Raziel. This man who had been the King’s Arch-Sorcerer for nigh on forty years now and owned one of the finest minds on the planet was always the center of much controversy. Undeniably brilliant, he was charged with the crimes of conceit, pride and of being insane. These, of course, were charges leveled by his critics – of which there were many. He’s reckless, they said. Dangerous.

Jonaleth didn’t know about that, but he did know that Raziel was a terrible teacher and to him that’s all that mattered.

“Jonaleth!”

The Master’s voice cut through the silence, the voice shaking him from his half-asleep reverie.

“Y-yes, Master?”

Raziel smiled that peculiar little smile of his and motioned to his apprentice.

“Come! See what I have done!”

Jonaleth’s face burned red as rose from the table. The shamed apprentice was known for an exceedingly sharp mind and a wit that would surely take him far in the magical arts; if only he could do something about his short attention span.

“Behold, apprentice!” Raziel exclaimed loudly. “Behold the future!”

Jonaleth looked at the... thing in front of him. Made of what looked to be living modeling clay, it didn't keep to one shape for long; the shapes it did take were odd, almost monstrous. Faces rose in the form, mouths gaping wide before dissolving once again into the formless mass.

“What... what is it?” asked the confused acolyte.

“What you are looking at is the future.” Raziel began to pace, his bushy eyebrows furrowed. His eyes had that manic glow that his charges always feared. “This will be the resolution of all of the problems of the common man. Imagine if you will a world where cows are as large as elephants! Horses with the strength of bulls and the speed of cats. A world where no man goes hungry and no work goes unfinished.”

“I'm not... I mean... This lump is all of that?” stammered the nervous youngster as he realized his master was awaiting a reply.

Raziel shook his head sadly.

“Jonaleth, do you understand how the Gods created the world? The animals? Do you understand why a lion and a horse cannot mate? Every animal was created with a set of instructions placed there by Odus himself, and these instructions describe everything about the animal. The same can be said about anything; plants, minerals…everything on Xi. Even you and me. All you need to know is how to read these instructions.”

“And... you know how to read the instructions from the Gods?” Jonaleth did not sound convinced.

“Oh heavens no, it would take a billion lifetimes! But I have come close. The being you see in front of you, the Molior, contains the entirety of the language of the gods. Every instruction, for everything ever created, exists within that abomination. It can become any combination of anything which has ever existed on Xi.”

“You mean like the pegasi created by Ellian the Elder?” Jonaleth knew he’d made a mistake as soon as the words left his mouth.

“Ellian? Ellian?” Raziel’s face grimaced with disdain. “Ellian is a pretender! A novice! He managed to modify a line here, fix a line there, but his creations are incomplete and crude! They lose the ability to procreate!”

Seeing his apprentice’s confusion, Raziel continued. “Take the horse and the ass. They can mate, but the offspring is very nearly always sterile. The instructions of the two beasts do not allow for it. But the Molior! The Molior can infuse anything with new instructions. It can procreate! It can create a line of cows so large no man will ever go hungry! A giant, docile sheep with enough wool to clothe entire households! And best of all, they retain the ability to procreate. Imagine it, fields full of these wondrous creatures, and every farmer in the land free to breed more. No more inequality, no more hunger or want. The Molior will change the world as we know it.”

Jonaleth stood, awed and impressed. Yet a thought kept nagging at the back of his mind. If a giant sheep could be created couldn't there also be giant wolves and bears? He dismissed the thought. He was a lowly acolyte and his master was Raziel the Magnificent, who had certainly thought this through and understood the implications far better than he. No, decided Jonaleth, no more stupid questions for today.

 

[Cosmic]

has one been decided yet? I have a lot of fanfic writers and role players on my forum that i could reach out to produce something spectacular

Feel free to hold a competition etc or whatever, let me know wat details you'd need, and we can make it so the winner has their story included as part of the worlds history in the default game =)

 

[sessionone]

Feel free to hold a competition etc or whatever, let me know wat details you'd need, and we can make it so the winner has their story included as part of the worlds history in the default game =)

Ok cool..Well, a couple of things, any particular theme you want to follow? (mid-evil) (adventure) (fantasy) etc.. What other factors do you want the writers to keep in mind, like what are some of the things you were envisioning when talking to Edondrol (sp?) The origin story is, why we are playing the rpg right? Hmm just any sort of format you want so i can set the contest up

 

[Webbstre]

I liked the second story better.

Out of curiosity, is the whole origin story set in stone or will we be allowed to turn it off and just leave the game mechanics in? The forum where the monster game will go for me is based around a game series (Torchlight), so it would be nice to personalize it even in a minor way to tie it to the Torchlight series even in a tiny way.

 

[Cosmic]

I liked the second story better.

Out of curiosity, is the whole origin story set in stone or will we be allowed to turn it off and just leave the game mechanics in? The forum where the monster game will go for me is based around a game series (Torchlight), so it would be nice to personalize it even in a minor way to tie it to the Torchlight series even in a tiny way.

It will be editable/customisable =)

I found when making RPG Inferno that a good 80% of people just ran with what they received with it (which wasn't much!) so I'm looking to have it be much more detailed this time.

 

[hornstar]

You're right, as my old RPG is still on my forums but disabled, and we only got about 80% of it finished and never opened it to the public -.- lol So this time it would be nice to be able to pretty much enable it from the word go. And then with user feedback be able to modify it and tweak it over time (as I get time).

As for the voting. I am 50/50 So I won't be voting this time round.

 

[Diana Notacat]

I'm just going to say I love #1 better. XD It was vague and cheesy, just the way I like stuff.



I'm glad it will still be customizable even with a stock set of plot. >: D Those lazy people have no idea how brilliant it is to create your own world from scratch. NO IDEA.

 

[sessionone]

It will be editable/customisable =)

I found when making RPG Inferno that a good 80% of people just ran with what they received with it (which wasn't much!) so I'm looking to have it be much more detailed this time.

hey did u see my post on page 1?

 

[Cosmic]

Ok cool..Well, a couple of things, any particular theme you want to follow? (mid-evil) (adventure) (fantasy) etc.. What other factors do you want the writers to keep in mind, like what are some of the things you were envisioning when talking to Edondrol (sp?) The origin story is, why we are playing the rpg right? Hmm just any sort of format you want so i can set the contest up

The world will be used for future RPGs as well.

This one is set on the Shard Isles, a group of islands to the north. The world is very magic & Deity-centric. The story can take place on any of the continents/areas (Map below). The writers don't need to include the monsters, as they are a new phenomenon, and haven't spread out of the Shard Isles yet.

Feel free to add me on msn and i'll set you up with more details etc =)

 

[Webbstre]

The more I hear about this mod the more excited I am

 

[sessionone]

The world will be used for future RPGs as well.

This one is set on the Shard Isles, a group of islands to the north. The world is very magic & Deity-centric. The story can take place on any of the continents/areas (Map below). The writers don't need to include the monsters, as they are a new phenomenon, and haven't spread out of the Shard Isles yet.

Feel free to add me on msn and i'll set you up with more details etc =)

added ...